Then All We Had Were Memories
by LodestarJumper
Summary: "Loki's case was further studied when I discovered his ghost...The void had already done enough damage, before...my father has declared my brother insane and unjustly judged for his actions. He was innocent. Treason is always granted with death. There was no trial." Avengers Ending AU! (No slash, no smut.) (Loki-centric) (One-Shot)


**Author's Note:**

 **Rated mostly for paranoia. No slash, no smut, language is all K.**

 **Sorry for any grammar/spelling errors! :)**

 **Disclaimer: I own nothing!**

 **Edited 1/20/18**

* * *

Then All We Had Were Memories

"Loki Liesmith," Odin's voice cuts through the silence of the air like a steel blade sharp enough to might as well _be_ one. His expression is blank but with a hint of fury on the edges of his mouth and eyes, not enough to be noticed by anyone who isn't well acquainted with him but Thor is. He really can count on one hand the amount of times he's seen his father this furious, one of which being his banishment from Jotunheim. Thor stuffs the thought into his "think about later box" and forces himself to pay attention.

The room isn't empty. Thor is pretty sure that he hasn't seen this many people gathered into the throne room since his failed coronation. The amount is enough to be stifling, choking and at the point of I-breathe-out-so-someone-else-can-breathe-in.

Loki, for all his previous squirming in large crowds of people doesn't seem phased. He used to twitch his hands and fidget in discomfort so subtly it would drive Thor slightly crazy. For a someone who was so good at manipulating people, he wasn't very good in large groups of them. Thor wishes he would put on some other face beyond the blank slightly lost expression he's been wearing since they stepped off the Bifrost. Anger, hate, laughter-anything but the _blank._ But no, Loki stands chained to the very inch of his life muzzle strapped to his face and hair a mess. He's still wearing his war attire but they just returned from Midgard _today_ so Thor supposes it shouldn't be a surprise. Loki's hair is a mess, though and curled on some edges and sticking up weirdly in others.

Odin's first words to him since they hung off of the Bifrost sting, but not a subtle way. He has unclaimed Loki by casting out his title. Even if there is no guardianship known, they take on "of the realm" instead of their parent's name. Even if Loki's face is completely blank but tilts, slightly to the left as the two words are spoken Thor feels it strike him like a blow.

He knows that Loki went off the deep end but he didn't disclaim him from their family.

Their father had pulled Thor aside for a testimony from him, then Heimdall then had gathered everyone for Loki's sentencing. Not trial. _Sentencing._ It's uncommon nearly unspoken of for anyone to not have a trial on Asgard and highly dishonourable.

"You have been accused of committing treason to the throne of Asgard, attempting genocide, trying to conquer Midgard." Thor draws his gaze away from the rather large smear of dirt on the ground that was sitting on the ground to his younger brother, standing still. His eyes hold the desire to speak but with the stupid muzzle, it's impossible. Thor's sure that anything he _did_ have to speak are just lies, though. Like usual, now.

"The gravity of your crimes prevents me from giving you any other sentencing. Your execution is to be at sunset."

Thor inhales sharply with surprise and violent protest as his mother intakes a shaky gasp. The crowd starts to murmur to themselves and this sentence at last seems to evoke a reaction from Loki. His head jerks upwards, not towards Odin, or him but to _Frigga_ wide with disbelief, some anger, and slight horror.

Frigga's hand flies over her mouth at the eye-contact and she gives a shake of her head. Thor doesn't really _feel_ anything just numb to shock. Because it was supposed to be a few years of imprisonment, banishment or something else...not _death._

Not again.

The reality doesn't hit him until dagger is plunged forward and Thor feels the "No!" escape his throat and Loki slumps, lifeless. (" _Have you any last words, Trickster?" "I'm sorry.")_

Loki was assumed dead when he fell from the Rainbow Bridge. _Assumed,_ not really _gone._ Thor held onto the hope that one day Loki would show up again, battered bruised but with that stupid _I told you so_ smirk on his lips and everything would return to normal. It never did. Heimdall came to them with the news that Loki had attacked Midgard and Thor was sent to stop him. In hindsight, it really would have been more effective to send their mother who would have yelled at Loki then grasped him by the ear and dragged him back to Asgard before the invasion had really begun. There's something completely different about knowing that Loki is _dead._ For real this time, there isn't any loopholes, no second chances, nothing. Just _gone._ Thor believes in hope, he clings to it but honestly it feels like there _isn't_ any. Loki is gone, this time it is for real.

Thor retreats to his room that night, removes what armor he can with his shaking hands before thrusting himself onto his bed and burying himself onto the covers and weeps.

He doesn't get out of bed the next day.

Or the next.

Or the next.

Just stares at the ceiling the ever kicking guilt on wondering _where did I go wrong?_ Why did _that_ have to be the _only_ punishment? His father is creative. He could have thought of _something._ He did for him. It doesn't feel fair.

Thor spends the next month, in a daze. He knows he _should_ return to Midgard and assist with repairs but he barely has enough energy to drag himself out of bed to check on Jane every night. It's the same process over again. The grief isn't as intense as last time because Thor already knows what it feels like. It's just _numb._

Sif strolls into his room exactly one month from Loki's execution and drags him from the desk he was sitting at staring at the wall with far more fascination that what is probably healthy. "We are going to spar," she declares.

Thor mopes and whines with vigor (quite proud of the protest he's putting up if he's being honest). Sif just rolls her eyes, straightens her shoulders before dragging him towards the training ring. It helps. Once he starts he doesn't think he's going to be able to stop. The anger that he's been stuffing down rises violently and he destroys everything he can. Sif keeps pace up with him and their fight lasts well into the day.

They both slump on a bench later, exhausted and Sif turns to him with a wide grin, "Tomorrow, then, same time?"

Thor agrees and they do.

He's just angry. He's angry at his father for killing Loki. Angry at Loki for being so stupid, angry that they didn't give Loki a trial. Angry that at himself for being such a failure at a brother, angry at well...everything. It's pathetic.

After three months, Thor returns to Midgard for Jane. Not the Avengers, not New York, Jane. Jane greets him with enthusiasm, slaps him, then they go to a park where Jane gives him ice cream and they talk. It's nice to not have the shadow of Loki hanging over him for once. But the grief is still intense. Jane tells him of her science spouting out words and phrases that Thor understands maybe thirty percent of. He's pretty sure that Loki would've, though. He loved the stars, like Jane does. The thought hurts, though, because it's _ed_ not _es._

Thor spends the rest of their Jane proclaimed date with a tight smile.

He returns to Asgard afterwards promising Jane another visit. She wishes him well with her bright smile that lights up her face and makes Thor's heart flutter. Asgard is harder. Because _Loki_ is everywhere across this. He passes the crack in the Bifrost where their battle ended and can only see Loki's wide eyes then his fingers slipping at their father's words, " _No, Loki."_

Thor returns to Midgard a week later, this time to the Avengers. Repairs in New York are well on their way and it's hard to tell that the Chitauri attacked the buildings. Some still bear scars but for the most part, it's pretty clean. The Man of Iron invites him to Avengers Tower where the rest of the team is. The Captain asks him of Loki's trial.

Thor explains, his voice tight and feels a slight surge of anger at Barton's obvious relief on the subject. Thor stays at the Tower, though, longer than he thought he would. Suddenly it's been half a year since Loki's execution and smiling isn't so hard anymore and the sting isn't as great. Laughter once again rouses within him at his team's antics. He grows close with them. Admittedly, probably closer than he ever was with the Warriors Three and Sif. They were great battle companions but he never felt the sense of companionship he did with Loki. They were brothers. He feels this, again, with the Avengers. He expected to go Avengers Tower to help he never expected to be _helped._

Seven months from his death, Thor returns to Asgard, planning for a week. Tony salutes him sarcastically, Natasha gives a nod of her head, Clint waves, Steve mimics the archer and Bruce nods, not really paying attention to whatever it is he's looking over on the...tablet thing.

The Bifrost opens and Thor thanks Heimdall, only to stop and look at the Gatekeeper, he looks strained. At this, Thor stops. "Is something wrong, Heimdall?"

Heimdall gives a soft sigh, "Queen Frigga has not found the healing you have. She has worried over you, I believe it would be best if you go and see her. She is in Loki's rooms."

Thor nods and stuffing down the worry growing in him swings Mjolnir and flies to the palace. Loki's rooms are next to Thor's but he hasn't stepped foot in it sense the day of his coronation. The grief was to intense after the Bifrost and the apathy just as much so the second time. Because for all the final words his brother could have sneared, why did he only instead, whisper " _I'm sorry."?_

Loki's room looks far more clean that it usually does and Thor doesn't like that. Thor never believed in cleaning, but Loki was controlled chaos and painfully neat. If it could balance on it, it would stay there. The bookshelves in particular became rather dangerous after they reached their teenage years. Thor leaned against them one time and never made the same mistake twice. Now, the books are in perfect order, his room is devoid of the random objects that would be in arranged piles on the floor (" _It's not piles of junk, Thor,_ you _however, have a different story to tell on that manner.")_ and the desk, usually cluttered with projects or spells Loki was working on is in perfect alignment. It's just so _un-Loki_ that it bothers Thor. He pushes it to the side and tries to ignore how much it grieves him that _one thing_ about his brother's past couldn't stay the same.

Thor purses his lips together and blinks back the memories and wave of nauseating grief as it hits him. Loki is _gone._ His mind is good at this game, the taunts, but Thor is also has a ten star rating on ignorance. The thought is rather sour in his head.

Frigga looks up from where she's sitting on Loki's bed sewing something. Her eyes are red and her hair in a loose braid. She still manages a wide smile at the site of him. "Thor!" She leaps from the bed and rushes towards him and wraps him in a tight hug. Thor returns it. "Oh, how I have missed you. How are the Midgardians?"

"They are doing well. Lo-the attack is nearly cleaned up from." Thor says and Frigga nods, her smile growing tight.

"Good, good. Here, sit, talk to me." His mother commands and Thor does, stiffly staring at the green blankets spotting the ratty blue quilt on the chair beside Loki's bed. The thing is a mess and has been for a long time now. Loki still loves- _loved_ it and refused to get it replaced or repaired. Something about sentimental value from the stains. Thor never got a proper answer out of him except maybe an eyebrow raise.

Thor purses his lips together and drags himself from his memories before they can overwhelm him again and begins to talk to Frigga. He explains about the Avengers and some of the villians that they fought, he explains about the ever growing amount of dates that he and Jane are having and how mentions, once, that he's pretty sure he wants to propose to her. Frigga smiles at that, her eyes twinkling with something he doesn't understand and he marges forwards.

The day quickly turns into dusk and Frigga has managed to nearly complete the embroidery she's been working on. He's pretty sure they both could have kept going for days on end if Fandral hadn't popped his head in, "The King requests your presence, My Queen," he says and Frigga's carefree joyous expression drops, abruptly the weight of worlds seeming to fall on her. She straightens her shoulders though, nods and stands. She grabs the embroidery and twists her fingers sending it into some sort of pocket dimension or transferring it across rooms. Loki tried to explain it to him but Thor quickly got frustrated at lack of understanding and Loki didn't attempt to again.

Frigga kisses his forehead and runs a hand through his hair fondly before following Fandral out of the room. Thor stays in it, though, studying everything. He can see he and Loki talking at various situations, the arguments then the carefree laughter where Thor would drop his arrogance and actually be the brother that Loki needed, few those moments are, but treasured now. _Loki_ is just all over the room and it makes Thor's heart ache in a way he hasn't felt for months.

Thor grabs the ratty blanket from off of the chair and wraps around in it the pang growing stronger at how much it smells like his little brother. Thor kicks off his boots and curls on the bed trying to pretend that everything is okay when it's not.

" _I'm sorry."_

Loki is still gone and no amount of pretending is going to bring him back.

000o000

Many people have stories of the weirdest situation they've ever woken up to, for Tony, though nothing trumps it like today. Especially on the one-year anniversary of something important. Because today, is the one-year anniversary from the day the Chitauri attacked and Loki got sent back to Asgard. Not that this seems to matter. There is nothing quite like waking up to Clint running around your room gun in hand screaming at the top of his lungs. "TONY! GET UP, SOMETHING'S UP IN ASGARD AND THOR NEED'S US!"

His wife, beside him gives a low growl and Tony feels like doing the same because it is three in the morning and whatever the issue is in Asgard, Thor can wait. Sleep, however, cannot.

"Clint," Pepper says, her voice irritated and exhausted and the archer stops, looking at her with a wide grin, "get out of the room before I kill you."

Clint's grin grows more wild and he twirls the weapon, "Have to catch me first, now _GET UP!"_

Tony grasps the pillow he was resting on and throws it across the room but Clint is already gone by the time it hits the area laughter echoing down the hallway. Tony groans and flops back onto the bed perfectly happy remaining there for the rest of his existence. This, however, doesn't seem to sit well with Pepper because after a moment she swings her legs over the bed pink sweatpants and white shirt suddenly far brighter and happier than Tony feels they need to be.

"Up, up, up," Pepper prompts.

Tony growls lowly before doing so. He makes it to the kitchen without falling flat on his face and feels rather accomplished sending a dirty look towards Clint in the process. Clint is smirking, looking strangely happy for such an odd hour and stuffing arrows into a quiver. He looks like he's on a sugar-oh. Clint isn't _happy_ he's so tired he's at the point of _giddiness._ That, _that_ takes talent. Tony doesn't sleep as much as what is recommended but it still takes him awhile to get to that point. Jarvis, has unfortunately had to talk him out of some rather wildly explosive ideas when he gets to that point. There was this one time that he tried to rig the grill and spatula into cooking pancakes but instead he got lumpy piles of ash. And still ate it.

... _Anyway,_ Tony drags himself away from his strangely wandering thoughts to the present as Natasha strides into the room, also dressed in full Black Widow garb pocketing a gun. Her red hair is tucked back into a ponytail that looks rather adorable because of how short her hair is. Tony, however, wisely keeps this comment to himself. He may be tired but he's not stupid and does, surprising as it is to most people, have a filter...okay, _sometimes._ Sometimes there is a filter.

Tony purses his lips together and stares down at himself for a moment. He missed something, he's pretty sure-ah, shoes. Shoes are always important. Good for keeping the feet away from unpleasurable poking. What were they doing again? Is it Doom? Because Tony swears that attacking during the middle of the night is the most villainous thing he's done. Period.

Steve rushes into the room a moment later, looking fully awake, like Natasha he's fully dressed shoving on gloves his helmet under one arm. Bruce is a moment behind looking slightly grumpy but unlike himself, is wearing shoes. Tony blinks several times trying to clear his muffled thought that are stringing into unexplainable groans (yes, mental groans) and gives a rather loud grunt as Pepper walks into the room and shoves his tennis shoes against his chest a moment later, Tony grasps them with both hands on instinct and smirks slightly.

"Ah, thanks."

Pepper heaves the Iron Man portable case up a moment later and drops it at his feet. "Have I ever told you how much I love that you're the other half of my dead morning brain?" Tony asks her as he stuffs on his right shoe and starts working on his second. Pepper opens her mouth to respond, pauses and stares at him for a moment before shaking her head.

"Actually, no."

"Ah, well, better late than never." Tony says and grabs the Iron Man case and turns to his teammates. "What are we doing again?"

Natasha raises an eyebrow before offering a response, "'Lady Sif of Asgard' landed on the balcony some ten minutes ago and told us that Thor needs us in Asgard. Clint overheard and took it upon himself to tell all of you."

"Ah," Tony says and adjusts the weight of the suit before giving Pepper a quick kiss on the cheek and moving forward. "Until later, my fair lady," He says in the direction of his wife before picking up the pace, "Onwards my fellow sleep-deprived teammates!"

They make it to the landing pad some five minutes later where a tall dark haired woman is waiting. Her hair is tucked back into a ponytail and her hand is on her hip in clear impatience. "Avengers!" She says, though the friendliness in her tone sounds slightly stretched. "I have long sense awaited your arrival. Come; Thor and his parents awaits us at Heimdall's Observatory."

"Wait," Bruce says and they all turn to look at him, "We're taking the _Bifrost?"_

Lady Sif, or this woman whom Tony _assumes_ is Sif gives a lopsided grin. "Of course. What else is there? Heimdall!"

The light grasps onto them a moment later and Tony feels a weird drop in his stomach before he's lurched upwards, rather violently, and streams of color swirl around them. The display is really beautiful. Truly it is, but it's blurring by to quickly for Tony to really decipher anything but a heavy blur of color. One moment they're on Avengers Tower and maybe five seconds later their stumbling into the Sif named Observatory.

Tony lands violently on his feet and lurches forward but manages to keep himself in order. Bruce falls to his knees and Steve looks close to doing so but Natasha, Sif and Clint (despite the former's severe sleep deprived issue) land on their feet and walk forward, calmly, Nat and Clint with wide eyes. "Welcome to Asgard," A deep voice says and Tony whips his head up and spots a tall armored man standing there that he's not entirely sure how he missed the first time.

Tony's stomach lurges suddenly, as if finally realizing they landing and he gives a tight smile, "Yeah, thanks." Tony says before grasping at his stomach and desperately trying not to heave. _This is not the story I want to tell my grandchildren._ Tony thinks desperately and squeezes his eyes shut as Steve says something along the lines of: "Thanks, Earth sends it's greetings."

 _I am not going to tell the story of how the first time I went to Asgard, less than five minutes later, I threw up to my grandkids. My kids? Meh, don't care. Grandkids, yes._ Alright, alright, _alright._ A few seconds later, Tony's pretty sure he has rein on his stomach's desperate attempt to rejoin the world of light and color and opens his eyes. Bruce is on his feet now and Sif is watching them, impatiently again and the five of them walk forward following after the Asgardian.

Strangely, Tony can still feel Heimdall's gaze on him even when they leave the observatory. And wow, that is _a lot_ of gold. Like _wow._ Where does one get this much gold? Maybe it's gold paint. For some reason, Tony doubts this. Even though it's night, stars are spreading across the sky in flakes of rainbow spurs of colors that seem to light up the whole sky. All in all, Asgard: Jaw dropping. And the bridge they're now standing on looks to be make of some sort of crystal where colors are rushing back and forth in blurry succession. And Thor gets amazed by blenders. Well _alright then._

Sif rests a hand on the hilt of her sword and then Tony is aware of the rapidly approaching horses coming towards them. With riders. Horses with riders that are all wearing capes that are following in the wind and doing that defy logic thing where they blow dramatically when they _should_ be all over their wearer's faces. It's Asgard, though, so…logic defying 101.

The horses come to a halt and Tony sweeps his gaze over the riders. In the back is an...elderly man with white hair with a large spear and radiates the aura of importance. Beside him, a golden haired woman climbs off her horse, her hair is tucked back into what Tony's pretty sure is a loose braid and her clothing is...sparkly, no not the right word. Shiny and expensive. Her eyes are deeply shadowed, though, but her eyes still hold a sense of friendliness. Tony immediately labels them as Thor's parents. Tony turns his gaze to Thor and feels a rush of slight surprise followed by concern rush through him. Thor, to put it nicely, looks like he got ran over by a bus. He's not wearing his full Asgardian armor but in a loose tunic and probably only wore the cape by heavy persuasion of someone. His hair is tucked back into a ponytail and his entire posture just radiates "exhaustion!". Huh. Okay, _weird._ If they were going to battle, shouldn't Thor be well...ready to go? Actually, now that Tony's thinking about it, Sif said that ' _Thor needed them'._ That could literally mean anything.

Mmm, now that Tony's on that train of thought, did any of them leave a note for Fury? He probably won't be happy that they all disappeared overnight without explanation. Meh, Jarvis can explain.

They stand there in awkward silence for a maybe a minute, Thor's father appearing to be sizing them up with his sight before Thor takes a step forward. His eyes are a little lighter as he looks at them and he gives a tight smile, "My friends, well I am overjoyed you are here…" Thor pauses for a moment staring at Sif for a second before returning to the words he was speaking, "...Why are you here?"

"She," Tony points an accusing finger at Sif, "tackled us into the Bifrosty thing."

Thor turns to Sif and raises an eyebrow in inquiry. Sif, apparently not feeling like sharing the whole story, shrugs in answer. Thor's father takes a step forward and glances at Thor, "I requested their presence."

Thor, at these words, does a double take. "Why?"

"I believe it is time we reached our political branches outwards." Odin turns to them and casts his single eye over them, "I apologize for the secrecy but I did not believe you would come if I requested a meeting."

Tony shrugs and Steve nods, "Yeah, probably, meetings are incredibly boring, no matter what the realm." Tony says and Odin turns to him, eye hard. Yeah, right, Tony's filter? Terrible when he's tired. And guess what he is? Tired. It's like _three in the morning_.

"You have blatant disrespect for authority, Anthony Stark." Odin says, his voice is slightly cold and Thor appears to be ready to tackle his father for Tony but there's no need because a moment later, Odin's lip twitches slightly under his facial hair. "It is good to be reminded of our equality among citizens. You remind me of someone I used to know." Odin says the last words slightly longingly and Tony immediately realizes that whoever this person was, they are dead now.

Thor's eyes also cloud over for a moment but the Queen, Frigga if Tony remembers right takes a step forward offering her hand to Steve. "It is good to come to your acquaintance, Steven Rogers, I am Queen Frigga of Asgard and I welcome you to my home."

Steve grasps her hand and shakes it and since apparently handshakes are not a common thing on Asgard and Frigga beams, apparently happy to have gotten it right. "Ah, pleasure to meet you, Your Highness." Steve says, his voice stutters slightly as if he's nervous which is weird because Tony doesn't know him to be a nervous person.

Thor stares at the back of his father's head for a moment as if debating something before Sif takes a step forward, "I trust I have completed my task, my king?" Sif asks and Odin gives her a nod.

"Thank you kindly, Lady Sif, you may retire now."

Sif nods in thanks before turning and mounting a horse Tony didn't see before and clicks her tongue before the horse and her begin to ride off on the long bridge. "I assume you have many questions, yes?" Odin asks and they nod, "I hope your realm can survive without for a week, because I would like you to stay that long." Odin says and Tony glances at Steve. Their leader pauses for a second, as if hesitating before responding.

"I'm pretty sure that Fury can keep it running for one week without us."

"Good, we'll walk back to draw on time and attempt to answer as many questions as we can."

Wow. Okay, yeah, Thor has described his father as being well...cold shouldered and has actually used the term, "arrogant prat" when explaining Loki's sentence. Apparently, something has happened to him because Thor looks just as surprised as Tony feels. And tired. Like, what the? Tony didn't think that Asgardians could _get_ tired. Okay, so yeah, he's seen Thor get injured and pass out many-a-times but the next day he woke up and was fine after consuming box of poptarts.

This exhaustion seems to be more from apathetic weariness, though.

As they begin their walk, Bruce begins to spit out questions rapidly and Odin answers some of them, Frigga explaining others. Thor remains quiet, though, staring off into the distance one hand on the reigns of his horse the other hanging loosely at his side. The uncharacteristic sadness makes Tony uneasy and ignoring as Steve begins to also ask questions he elbows Thor in the ribs. Long since used to Tony's affectionate punches, rib jabs, and pokings with objects, Thor just grunts slightly and turns to look at him.

"What?"

Tony's brain scrambles for a second. Erm, he was expecting Thor to ignore him and he would have to jab him for awhile just claiming he wanted a reaction. Question, Tony, _questions..._ Ah! "What's your horses name? Personally, he looks like a Sandy to me, or maybe Gold, and I suppose sense you're all weird, Goblet."

Thor rolls his eyes slightly, " _Her_ name is Moa."

Tony doesn't miss the gender correction and feels a sheepish expression cross over his face. He quickly wipes it though and raises his eyebrow, " _Moa?"_

"Moe-a." Thor corrects Tony's terrible pronunciation. Tony's eyebrows meet.

" _That_ is a weird name. Like, it's custom on Earth-Midgard-whatever to name your horses Sugarcube, Brownie or something but Moa? What the heck? I would've just gone with Goblet."

Thor's face passes with too many emotions to count. Anger, resentment, frustration before finally settling on the depressed lips pressed together thing he was wearing earlier. "She was Loki's." He says quietly.

"Oh."

 _Oh._

 _Foot as been properly placed in mouth, I repeat, foot has been properly placed in mouth._

Tony bites his tongue heavily and mentally slaps himself. Whoo! Way to go, Stark, you mention one of the _few_ topics that are an banned in their conversations. Especially with Thor and Clint. It's not like he _knew_ exactly either, it's just he feels like he should have. The goal of bugging Thor was to make him happier, now, however, he has done exactly the opposite.

Tony pulls his attention away from the sudden far more sullen Thor to Frigga who is explaining the Bifrost with a sparkle in her eyes. To, Natasha if Tony's guessing right. The queen talking ecstatically, waving her arm around as she speaks and Odin is staring at her with a sweet tenderness, a love that Tony knows he mirrors in his own eyes when he sees Pepper talking about something she's excited about. The shadows on Frigga's face seemed to have vanished, if momentarily and she looks like she isn't carrying such a heavy load.

And then, the realization properly hits him. It has been exactly one year since the Battle of New York and Loki and Thor returned to Asgard. Loki has been dead for one year now. _That_ is why Frigga looks like she took grey paint and smudged it under eyes and Thor like he got ran over by a tractor. Odin is less obvious, but he's leaning into his staff in a way that Tony can sense he doesn't actually need.

When they reach the palace, close to what Tony would guess an hour later the sun is still set and Tony is beyond exhausted now. Frigga turns to them and grabs a younger girl who was standing near the door fiddling with her skirts. "Friend Avengers, this is Fey, she will see you to your rooms. Please, join us for breakfast tomorrow-well I suppose today. It will be at eight." Frigga says and smiles cheerily directing Fey towards them.

Fey waves shyly and Thor hands the reins of Moa to a stable hand and gives a wave, "Until the morn," He says and moves forward towards the palace. Fey smiles and stares at them for a moment. Her gaze stares all of them down for a moment before lingering on Steve. She stares at him before squinting, "I thought you'd be taller." She says at last. Tony snorts at that slightly because the sheer _surprise_ on Steve's face is picture worthy.

"Please, if you would, follow me. It was short notice so we aren't as prepared as we would have liked, I hope it doesn't...how is you say it, 'bother you'?"

"Yep." Clint assures. Fey's expression lightens at this encouragement.

She leads them through the palace quickly, she's not the tallest person Tony's ever meant but she is fast. Her long light brown hair swings back and forth against her back the upper half tucked up close to her head. It's a...weird hairstyle. After some period of time, (Tony wasn't counting) she stops and opens a door, "You all have your own quarters, although they are close to each other. There should be tunic's for later today. I will come to wake you for breakfast. Captain Rogers," she says and gestures to the room. Steve glances at them and gives a halfhearted, exhausted salute before stepping into the room. Tony glances at it.

The walls are a light shade of blue and it's lit by torches and there's a bed against one corner beside it a small table. There's a desk against one wall, a large wardrobe beside it and couches in the room. Another doorway leads off into what Tony assumes is a bathroom and Tony doesn't see what's against the wall next to the door but it's probably shelves or something. Fey shuts the door behind the captain and opens another one, not stopping until all of them are in their given rooms. Tony sees the bed, gives a soft laugh of relief before thrusting himself onto it and promptly falling asleep.

000o000

"Captain…" Steve is used to waking up at the slightest hitch of noises. Someone walking, the sound of something dropping above him, the shifting of blankets. Either severe paranoia from the forties or his hearing is advanced from the serum, Steve isn't sure only that it's life now and he's well beyond accepted that. So needless to say, the faint whisper, a bare hiss of breath is enough to startle him awake.

Steve's blue eyes rip open with surprise and he's already rolled to his feet, shield in hand before he fully realizes he's awake. His blond hair is a tattered mess sticking in front of his eyes but Steve blinks the blurriness away to stare forwards sweeping his gaze across the room. Nothing. Huh. That's weird because Steve has long since learned to trust his instincts and he _swears_ he heard something.

"Rogers," Steve's spine stiffens considerably at the voice because he _recognizes_ it and that thought is more horrifying than thinking he's slowly going insane. Because Loki is _dead_ and has been for nearly a year now without Thor even mentioning anything beyond the frustrated sigh of his lips as he accidentally calls Clint or Tony 'Loki' in half exasperation. The voice is soft and contains little if any of the malice it did on Earth when he was rampaging through New York.

Steve whirls, because it sounds considerably close to his ear, shield raised, but is greeted again, with nothing but blank air. Okay, this is weird. Maybe he _is_ going insane because this is ridiculous. Loki is _dead,_ Steve shouldn't be hearing his voice...and yet he _is._ It's probably just his tired brain weary and on edge. Yep, that's totally it. Nothing else.

Steve blinks, licks his lips to clear them of the dry feeling before turning back to the bed to dump his shield next to it and return to sleep but stills, again, as he sees the figure standing next to the window. Standing...well...isn't quite right because Steve can't exactly see his _feet_ and he looks translucent but _there_ all the same.

Steve's shield lifts again but the figure makes no hostile movement and Steve recognizes him...sort of. Loki. The man's hair is longer than he remembers and in loose curls, the outfit he's wearing isn't anywhere near as glamorous as what it was in the New York attack. A long sleeve dark green shirt with the thick vest and black pants. His back is to Steve, though, so he can't see the front. Loki's hands are clasped together behind his back and appear to be leaking a dark liquid. Everything still has this look to it, though, like Loki is somehow solid but Steve can still see the reflections of the window through him. Steve can see _himself_ through the window where Loki is standing.

After a moment, Steve manages to find his tongue, "You're dead." He states, clearly, firmly, as if saying it hard enough will make this...hallucination, illusion-whatever disappear. Oh, gosh, Steve is going insane.

Loki gives a soft hum and clenches his fists together, tighter, "Am I?"

"Yes," Steve says. "I'm just going insane, Thor said that you had and execution he was _there_ you're not _real."_

"Help me,"

The statement is so unusual going from the insane Asgardian's lips that Steve actually falters backwards a step and blinks, "Sorry?"

"Help me," Loki says, again, he turns to look back at Steve and the soldier feels his stomach churn uncomfortably. Loki's skin is pale white and deep shadows are under his eyes. The green is piercing yet dull all the same, lifeless, hopeless, _empty._

"I-" Steve says but can't think of anything else than that because what can he say?

"Please," Loki begs, he takes a step closer to Steve and collapses to his hands and knees a second later. Steve's muscles are tense the shield in his hand clutched tightly and he prepares to toss it at the Asgardian's head but Loki looks up at him the black hair falling over his face. "I swear I am sorry, I never wanted it. I promise, please, just let me...I never...wanted…" Loki's voice fades and the eyelids close the exhaustion clear, beyond so on the man's face.

"Wanted _what?"_

Instead of answering, Loki lurches backwards, he's still on his knees but the Asgardian grasps at his hair ripping it outwards, throws his head back and _screams._ Steve's eyes widen and at the sound because it's ear shattering and a _howl_ all the same. Steve's shield slips from his grasp and Loki's voice rises before the his form is dragged upwards in a pull of greenish-yellow light and the man is gone silence taking its place.

Steve's eyes are wide and stares at the spot Loki was just a _second_ ago and can't hear anything but the screams. _That_ pain had been real. Steve doesn't understand. Loki was very, very _dead._ Now? He's not sure what to think.

Steve whirls again as the door to the room is thrown open and Clint, Natasha and Bruce all stumbling inside the first two looking wide awake and ready for a fight the latter more so like a dead zombie. It's been maybe two hours, Steve would guess from his internal clock but Clint's bow is raised, arrow cocked and Natasha's guns are level with nothing in particular but raised. Bruce's glasses aren't on though and he looks incredibly grumpy.

"Cap?" Natasha calls and steps into the room. Steve suddenly realizes just how _dark_ in here it is. It didn't feel that way just moments ago with Loki's glowing form-but...it...was it even _real?_

The scream echoes in his head, like a haunting memory. Yes, it was.

"I'm here," Steve calls a moment later and all three turn their heads towards him and Bruce takes a few hesitate steps into the room.

"Are you alright? Where are you injured? Who attacked?" Bruce asks and Steve's brain scrambles for a moment. Um..no one. _Physically_ he's fine. Mentally? He's starting to question his sanity.

"I...I'm fine." Steve assures and sees the expressions of disbelief work their way across each of his teammates before Tony's head sporting a beautiful messy style pokes into the room the arc reactor sheds light immediately even through Tony's Imagine Dragons shirt.

"You sounded like you were being murdered." Tony says, simply, to summarize.

What is he supposed to _tell_ them? Hey, yeah, I just saw Loki standing in my room and he pleaded for forgiveness and help...or something like that then disappeared with a scream and a flash of light. Yes, Steve thinks, rather dryly, that will go over _splendidly._ He must be more tired than he thought.

"I think…" Steve says and _still_ can't wrap his head around what just happened. He thinks what? Finish the sentence. "That I just," Steve pauses again, to run a hand through his hair before continuing: "that I just saw Loki."

The beat of silence lasts for maybe five seconds but it feels like endless years before Clint's bow lowers the string going lax and a disbelieving look spreads across the man's features before he says, " _What?"_

Steve bites his lower lip for a moment, "There was this... _sound,"_ Steve begins and the Avengers file into the room, officially, instead of standing in the doorway but don't sit. "And I woke up and tried to figure out what is was and then I turned and he was standing, there," Steve points to the window, "and asked me to help him. He said he didn't want "it" whatever that was then lurched backwards, screamed and vanished." Steve finishes looking back up the ceiling as if the Asgardian is going to re-appear to prove his story.

The other Avenger's share a look before Bruce gnaws on his lower lip. Long shadows are casted over the room from Tony's arc reactor the dull blue light not strong enough to brightly light anything beyond a few feet in front of Tony. "Steve," Bruce begins, his voice is soft, gentle and Steve immediately knows that none of them believe him. Irritation bristles through him.

"He was here, I promise." Steve says and sighs pinching the bridge of his nose. After a moment, he leans down and grasps the shield into his hands. "I'm sorry it woke you." Steve deliberately leaves out the "I" before he walks towards his bed. The other Avengers pick up on his hint and though Steve admittedly feels a little guilty for blowing them off like that, they think him beyond sleep deprived right now and Steve isn't even sure _himself_ if what he saw, was real.

000o000

Steve's proud to say he makes it midway through breakfast before the question slips from his lips. For the most part it had been painful small talk and little else. Tony had managed to throw a grape that Natasha caught in her mouth and that was mildly amusing but little else occured. Steve, without any tact or previous though over how the question might affect the family blurts in a swift question: "Loki is dead, right?"

Because the sentence was exactly a year ago (he thinks) and they haven't had any issues with the crazy Asgardian since and everyone has been perfectly happy with that. The relief that washed over Clint's face was immense when Thor told them. The other Avengers glance at each other and Steve is pretty sure each is questioning his sanity but Steve _has_ to have this confirmed and guilt washes through him for asking so un-subtly because the entire royal family stills in sync. Like someone had grabbed three rods and prodded them in the back at the same time. Odin's face washes with regret for a moment before it's masked blank, Thor's jaw clicks to the left just right enough to let Steve know he's either angry or deeply upset and Frigga sucks in a deep breath.

The cutlery in the Queen's hand slips out clatters against the bowl she was eating from and her eyes grow distant, misty and she looks upwards, "Yes." Frigga whispers. "M-my son is…" Frigga rises from the table swiftly the chair scooting backwards at her haste and gives a choked sob before she turns and quickly fleas from the room, hand against her mouth. Odin sends a pointed yet somehow displeased and pleading look all the same in Thor's direction before he rises to his feet following after his wife with the same haste.

The guilt becomes a gnawing monster at his stomach.

Thor gives a weary sigh and releases the spoon his was using into the bowl he wasn't really using or eating from and rests both his hands against his forehead, leaning against the table. The long blond hair pours over his shoulders and their teammate looks defeated somehow. Thor's usually smiles and a sense of humor to run a mile and this seriousness is startling. Not that Thor can't be serious, he can, it's just strange to see him looking so...defeated. Lost.

Tony and Bruce share a look, doing that creepy surrogate sibling look somehow all of them are really good at where they read each other's thoughts. "Thor…is something-?" Bruce starts to ask, softly and Thor cuts him off without looking up.

"Yes. I assume you were put in the eastern part of the palace?"

"Yeah," Natasha answers for all of them as no one else offers up an answer after a second. Because Steve wasn't sure, Fey just showed them to the rooms and he passed out until Loki-the thing-woke him up. He's glad that Natasha knows, though.

Thor runs a hand over his face and gives a soft sigh. "My apologies, friends, I should have been more watchful over where you we're staying but I have been...distracted. Only my family and the Warriors Three and Sif aware of it anyway." The last part is muttered mostly to himself.

"Knows of what?" Clint presses. All of them are done pretending to eat or actually _eating_ focus drawn on the Asgardian price.

"My brother…" Thor clears his obviously tight throat, "there was a pain that was so deeply inflicted upon him that his spirit remains here, trying to find solstice. We try to keep everyone out the area. He breaks things, his magic is always testy at best and recognizes he no one-at times he doesn't even realize who _he_ is. My father believes this to be the result of the void or perhaps the mind control."

Tony's fingers press together, "Wait, " _mind control"?"_ Tony asks, his voice strained with disbelief. Steve's thoughts echo it. "As in, scepter wielding Clint-mind control?"

Clint's eyes tighten at the mentioning.

Thor's lips sink lower into his lower lip and Steve is pretty sure he's drawn blood. "No," He says, hesitant, "Loki's case was further studied when I discovered his ghost, my father has found evidence of severe magic done to his head, it messed with everything and forced Loki to the back of his mind and another to the front. The void had already done enough damage, before...my father has declared my brother insane and unjustly judged for his actions. He was innocent. Treason is always granted with death. There was no trial."

Natasha presses her lips together tightly until their almost white. Clint's fists clench together and he looks ready to murder something, which, judging from his expression is likely to happen. Tony has a blank mask on and Bruce's brows are drawn together.

"What is the void? You never mentioned that before." Bruce asks and Thor runs his tongue along his lips for a moment, likely to clean off the blood.

"It is a vastness of _nothing._ Anyone or anything who has fallen into it never returns. There is no sound, no light, no breath, no life. Loki fell into this shortly after I destroyed the Bifrost-I." Thor pauses for a moment, "My brother and I were hanging from Gungnir and Loki _let go."_

Tony whistles slightly and mutters something, dark, under his breath.

Clint's fists clench and he shakes his head slightly, "You mean to tell us that your brother was _just as controlled_ as _I_ was and you didn't even give him a trial just killed him because hey, he tried to subjugate a realm and failed splendidly, yeah, sure, _that's_ evidence enough."

Thor's fists are tight now, "He betrayed Asgard's throne before he fell, we had no reason to assume it was under any other will beyond his own."

Steve purses his lips together. "Why?" Thor never talks about his brother. Ever. They only know what they've picked up through his offhanded comments and his attempted conquering.

Thor falters for a moment and releases a breath, "He learned of his adoption, Loki is not of Asgard but Jotunheim, our sworn enemies. He did not take it well. I had been banished and our father fell into Odinsleep before they could finish their conversation. Our mother gave him the throne in a spree of trust-to prove to Loki that she still thought him worthy it was rash decision. Loki was not in his right mind at the time and attempted to kill me, then the Jotun's."

"So his ghost," Steve starts again to draw their conversation back to the original topic, "is a result strong magical bond that can't be severed?"

"Roughly." Thor says, his voice is deathly quiet and he lifts his head up, "Loki doesn't...we don't know how to _help_ him be released because he doesn't _see_ any of us."

Steve's stomach squirms slightly and Loki's voice echoes in his head, ' _Rogers.'_

"Loki...I saw him last night. It's why I asked." Steve admits, finally and Thor draws his gaze from the table cloth he was staring at with _far_ to much interest to Steve. "He talked to me, he asked me to help him. He...recognized me."

Thor's head jerks slightly at that and his eyes widen, " _What?_ He...truely? He _knew_ you?"

Steve nods. The others are staring at him without the " _oh dear, our leader has gone crazy and I am unsure what to do"_ look. More so concern and slight confusion. "I-I have to tell my mother. She will be ecstatic." Thor says his eyes are distant, much as the Queen's were earlier. He rises to his feet before stopping and meeting eyes with Steve. "Would you...would you mind remaining there for a few more days? You are the only of those we have confined in that he has _known._ He threw a book at Fandral's head but that's about all the recognition we got."

Steve bites his lip. _Would he?_ Loki is mentally unstable, if not totally evil just _crazy._ He didn't seem that way last night...well beyond the screaming. Just lost, and seeking assistance. At the same time, Loki didn't _actually_ do anything to him just talked and stood there. After a moment, Steve shrugs, "I guess not. If he tries to kill me then I'll have issues with it."

The attempted joke doesn't even get a quirk of a smile on anyone, "He won't." Thor promises. "Thank you friend Rogers. My friends," Thor turns to the other Avengers, "I can you moved to other rooms if this will suit you ill-"

"No." Clint says. His voice holds no room for question. Steve is actually surprised by it. Honestly, Steve would've thought that Clint would be the first to accept the offer. Clint doesn't appreciate anyone bringing Loki into a conversation. "I'm not leaving Cap by himself to fend for his life."

"I agree with Clint," Natasha says a moment later, "if Cap's staying there, we should to." The other's don't argue and Steve can't help this warm feeling on the inside that rouses from their protectiveness of him.

000o000

Clint has decided that he enjoys the rafters of his room greatly. They're at a perfect height off the ground that if anyone were to look for him, they wouldn't see him yet low enough that he can reach them with ease. Clint has spent the last day or so here since they got to Asgard reading a book he found in the room about some sort of weird fairytale. (Well when he wasn't exploring the streets with Natasha and Frigga earlier, he found a rather pretty necklace for Laura that the Queen insisted that she buy for him.) It was quite disturbing with the end being that everything ended more tragically than _Romeo and Juliet_ and Clint had been more than happy to finish it. The book is pressed beyond his feet and in his hands he's staring at the photo of his family that Laura made them take earlier this year.

It's around maybe four in the afternoon he'd guess and the necklace is wrapped around his palm as he stares at the photo a familiar longing in his heart. He misses them on good days and longs horribly for them on others. He just wishes he could get to show Laura and the kids Asgard, he's pretty sure that Cooper and Lila would be in awe at all the weird contraptions that they have in here.

"Barton." Clint upper body twists to the left at the voice dagger ripped from the back of his belt and unsheathed before the second syllable is finished. The photo is clutched in his hands tightly, unbreakably, and in the semblance of the rafter he was enjoying balancing on everything suddenly feels like he's going to fall sideways. Clint's dagger is pointed directly at the throat of _Loki._

Clint's immediate desire is to leap off the rafter and run as far as possible before he takes his brain again and plays making him kill someone else. He's an assassin, not a murderer. The line is thin but there. He does not like that Loki messed with it.

"What do you want?" Clint hisses, his voice is dark and filled with untold threats. Loki's long hair is in soft curls hanging around his face almost enough to be annoying but the Asgardian doesn't seem to mind. His clothing is far less fancy than it was the last time that Clint saw him and the derangeness is ripped from his eyes instead a hollow, broken shell is all that remains. Green. Clint remembers them distinctly being _blue._ Icy blue.

" _Or from the mind control…"_ Thor's voice echoes in his head. Clint doesn't want to accept it, refuses to but at the same time? It's not wrong. Clint just wants to be angry at _Loki_ because it was the face that told him to do everything but he can't help but be angry _for_ Loki, too. It's driving him slightly insane.

Loki's form is slightly wispy, but still very _there,_ "Are they well?" Loki's voice is soft and holds little if any anger the craziness is drained from him. His voice just sounds...lost. Clint wants to punch him for it. Can someone actually hurt a ghost? Because Clint's pretty sure that he's going to be the first one.

"Who? The Avengers? Yeah, we're fine, weird your looking after our wellbeing after trying to kill us."

Loki's face ghosts something close to a smirk but it's very faint, "No, not them." He says. Clint's fingers tighten over the photo as the realization hits him. Loki, despite clearly realizing this points towards the picture of his family, "Your nest."

"Wouldn't you like to know." Clint hisses. Clint sheathes the dagger and turns to jump after the rafter but stops as he hears Loki's soft whisper, "Yes; I wanted to know if I managed to hide them."

Clint's back goes rigid and he turns, "I'm sorry, _what?_ Hide them? I called Laura after the whole debacle, she was fine, said that Cooper had to climb a tree to get a kite and that Lila got caught in three separate times but fine. You didn't _hide_ them from me."

Loki's eyes don't meet his, just staring off towards the wall his leg dangling from the rafter he's sitting on. "Not you, never from you, my hawk." Loki sighs slightly more like the weary exhausted kind rather than from frustration. Clint forces his tongue to keep quiet at the nickname because he wants to know the answer and yelling at Loki isn't going to get him that. "When I took your mind and made you tell me of your secrets, my master wanted to know everything but I hid as much as I could, not much, but enough. Stark's star, Selvig's flaw in the portal, most of my magic, left the staff for your Widow, knowing she would discover it and little else, your family, and their location was among this. I hid them from any observers sight for as long as I could in case my master did manage to draw it from me. They are well then?"

Clint's eyes are slightly wide as Loki finishes and he stares at him for a moment just processing the information. _Loki_ the insane man who made him kill _hid his family_ from the greater threat. The puppet master with all the strings. _Loki kept them safe._ He knew about the flaw in the portal and _left it there._ Loki...just...what?

"I…" Clint says, his voice is lost to him though.

"Are they?" Loki presses.

"Yes." Clint answers after a second and his licks his lips after a moment trying to gather his bearings again. He just...he _assumed_ Loki was waiting for another time to the card of his family, to taunt him with it. Not _hiding them._ It never happened then Loki was dead and he didn't have to worry on it anymore. "Thank you." The words are quiet, and Loki shakes his head softly, winces and presses two fingers against one side.

"I took your mind, if unwillingly, I regret this. It was the least I could do. May I see them?"

Clint battles inwardly for a moment before shrugging slightly, mentally. Loki is still dead, there is little he can do against them. Clint takes the photo clenched in his hand and resettles himself against the wall before lifting the photo so the sorcerer beside him can see. A soft smile spreads across Loki's face and Clint holds his hand steady. Loki never stole their memories, just messed with their heads and what he knew, Clint had _told_ him. He never knew what Clint's family looked like or anyone else until they met him.

"Laura and Cooper, yes?" Loki asks and points to the two in the photo. They're standing side by side, in front of a sunrise casting shadows over them. Cooper is by Laura's side and Lila in her arms. Natasha is standing beside Cooper a hand resting on his shoulder a soft, true smile gracing her lips. Clint took the photo earlier this year. Before the call for guard duty of the Tesseract and Selvig. Clint gives a stiff nod, still slightly weary. Loki's gaze scans over the photo the smile slightly stretched. He looks to be in pain. The hand against his forehead is pressing slightly harder and digging into the hair.

"Laura ripped apart the farm looking for a spot for the photo. Nat just about lost it from the many, many multiple places that they had. It was sort of funny, because Laura wanted a photo with the stars and instead she got the sunrise. There's another one, in the house with all of us." Clint doesn't know _why_ he's telling Loki this, because this man is _not to be trusted_ but it's a relief to have someone else who _knows._

"This is Lilia?" Loki asks and points to the pigtailed younger girl photo.

"Lila." Clint corrects.

"My apologies." Loki whispers. The Asgardian stares at him earnestly for a moment before grasping at his head and moaning slightly pressing his fingers against his temples. The utter torture played across Loki's face looks unendurable but with a soft gasp Loki vanishes in a splur of unwards green-yellow light in a manner of three seconds tops. Clint watches the spot for a moment staring at the ceiling in surprise before looking down at Laura and his children for another moment.

He gets a strong feeling, though, that the apology wasn't meant for the name slip up.

000o000

Bruce loves learning. Specifically, he loves learning about stuff he didn't already know. Being a genius, finding this information is hard. Asgard, however, is filled with it and Bruce can't stop turning and finding something he doesn't get yet. The thrill is unexplainable and he's pretty sure that if he was sentenced to live on Asgard learning things from them for the rest of his life, he'd die content.

He doesn't understand Norse, unfortunately, anything beyond a few phrases that Thor has taught him off handedly so he can't go to the library and read everything. Not that he could in a week, but he could try. There is definitely plenty of English, or as referred to here, Common-Tongue so he's contented himself with that.

It's been about three days since they arrived here and Bruce still doesn't have a grasp that they're actually _here._ He hasn't seen Odin or Frigga since the awkward breakfast where Steve sent the queen of running in her tears but he has seen Thor more than once. Mostly though he has slipped into his severe introvertness and hidden from everyone. His other teammates have gone to spar with Thor and Siv and the Warriors Three or something like that. Though he's beyond sure that Hulk would _love_ beyond words to go up against a different Asgardian beyond Thor, he's ignoring the Other Guy with a sudden profound skill as he desperately tries to suck in as much science as possible...because _science._

Needless to say, when someone suddenly leans over his shoulder staring at the book he's reading, Bruce lets out a rather high-pitched yelp and leaps forward slapping the book closed and whirling to see who it is. He has Tony's name on his tongue in frustration because honestly the billionaire really needs to learn to be more careful before he actually accidently releases Hulk. The word, however, dies in his throat at the culprit.

What on the-?

 _Loki!?_

Yeah, he'd heard the stories from Steve and now Clint insisting that they'd both seen this _ghost-thing_ of Loki but he didn't believe it. Why would he? It's preposterous, he just assumed that Clint was exhausted and hallucinating and Steve was dreaming. Ghosts aren't real...but now? Even Thor's explanation of what Steve saw still had Bruce doubting. Thor misses Loki terribly, that much is obvious, (and if the grey clouds over Asgard indicate anything as well) but again, it's just unbelievable. Until now.

Right then.

Bruce blinks. Once, twice, thrice, before he realizes that the book he's clutching is pressed so firmly against his stomach that it's digging into his skin uncomfortably. He releases his grip slightly and feels a strangled sound come out of his throat that sounds slightly like a wheeze. Hulk is pressing at the back of his mind desperately trying to leap outwards and show this Asgardian what his place is again.

 _No._ Bruce protests.

 _Yes._ Hulk argues.

 _No, Hulk._

 _Hulk, yes._

 _No smashing, not this time. He's not even real._

 _Hulk-_

 _Stop. Later, alright?_

…

Bruce purses his lips together and releases a slow breath and Loki tilts his head slightly. He looks...weirdly translucent and far less intimidating when he's not in all his armor and helmet making him appear to be at least a foot and a half taller. Not to say that he _wasn't_ intimidating when he walked down the hallway in the Helicarrier after his capture face completely blank before turning to look at him that stretched smile on his face as he refused to break eye contact. The rush of adrenalined fear that rushed through him at that moment wasn't like anything he'd ever felt before. But now, Loki just looks like a sick teenager wandering around in pajamas. (Not that be plans on admitting that thought) but Loki just...his clothing hangs off him and the translucence is the only factor that clues Bruce into believing that he isn't physically here.

Loki's hands are clasped behind his back from what Bruce can tell and he blinks his green eyes owlishly, still staring at the book before lifting his head up to meet Bruce's. "That is on...what is it you call it? Chemistry?"

Bruce's throat runs dry for a moment. Loki's voice is much softer than he remembers. Why is he here, trying to engage in conversation? What is his game play at? Why is- "Yes," Bruce answers, stiffly.

"Yes, I assumed so. I'd read that one over a dozen times before. Are you enjoying it?"

Bruce blinks, again. What on the- _why_ on...this makes little sense. Loki is supposed to be a world conqueror, mad, insane, unstable, here he is, trying to have a civil conversation on _books._ "Yes," Bruce answers, his voice still as guarded.

"Hmm." Loki breathes. "You have a better reign on the beast, now, I admit I am impressed."

Loki saw it, he saw the inner struggle in didn't try to goad him into transforming. He just stood there, waiting for the outcome. _Why_ didn't Loki try and battle him into changing? "Yes, I do. If you were attempting to scare me into changing that's not going to work." Bruce's voice comes out a little sharper than he intended (okay, _just_ as sharp as he intended) but Loki doesn't seem deterred by this instead, he _grins._

Annnd _there_ it is; the insane crazy-world conqueror he was looking for.

Loki runs a hand through his messy hair, "Oh no, I assure you I have no intentions of getting all of my ribs snapped again. Once was plenty." Bruce feels himself pale slightly. Loki walked away after the attack. He was _fine._ A little grumpy and scowling at everything and bright light as if he had a major headache but _fine_. Bruce just assumed the worst it did was break skin. _All_ of his ribs?

 _Puny ribs._

 _Wh-Hulk!_

"Although, I believe I owe you my thanks, Doctor Banner." Loki says, his voice incredibly softer.

Bruce swallows through his suddenly tight throat. "For what?" He asks.

Loki's smirk fades replaced by a pained grimace for a moment before the blank mask washes over his facial features. "It was nice to die as myself, in the least, I guess. Thank you for that."

Bruce presses his lips together, "So you _are_ dead?"

"Yes, I've seen my body. Unsettling, that is, when it's not in astral projections. I…" Loki pauses the pained look returning and his fists clench at his sides. "Please, Doctor...please help me. I still have not been released from this-AH!" Loki clutches at his head and sinks to his knees grabbing at his hair. Bruce's doctor instincts kick in before common sense does and he tosses the chemistry book to the side and rushes to the Asgardian's side.

"What's wrong?" He demands and attempt to lay a hand on Loki's forehead but his eyes widen as his fingers pass _through_ Loki's body. He gasps at the chill and tugs his hands back staring at his fingers for a moment as they frost at the ends. His hand is shaking terribly and he holds it close to his chest.

 _Hulk smash, now?_

 _No!_

"I cannot…" Loki moans and grips the hair tighter. His green eyes meet Bruce's for a moment, "there is...a spell…" he pants and purses his lips together, "the staff...I never wanted...I never wanted it…" Loki groans and Bruce stares at him helplessly. He wants to help, he really does but he hand is starting to sting badly and turn black on the tips.

A staff and a spell. What is he supposed to do with that? Does he mean the staff he dragged down to Earth because Bruce honestly has _no idea_ where that went. S.H.I.E.L.D. took it and Bruce hasn't thought about it to much since. Loki inhales sharply with a breath that sounds severely painful before his form is dragged upwards in a wash of bright yellow-green light.

Bruce stares for a moment before looking down at his hand. Hulk pounds relentlessly at the back of his head, forcing for release. Bruce refuses to let him.

Finding a doctor would likely be a good idea.

So Bruce, as any reasonable person would do in this situation opens up his mouth and lets out a loud scream.

 _Hulk smash, now?_

 _Say that again and I'll smash_ you.

000o000

Natasha is a skilled fighter. She knows this and is quite proud of the fact. Asgard, however, has there fair share of skilled if not _more_ skilled warriors. Natasha still manages to hold her own, though, and is quite proud to say that she managed to beat all Volstagg, Hogan and Sif but is still working on Fandral. They've only been doing hand-to-hand but because of the random variety of fighting styles that Natasha has masted is throwing them off. She's proud of this. She likes Thor's friends, their a little arrogant and she could give a few of them a slap over the head and not feel sorry but they're funny and in the least good company. She's pretty sure that she wounded Sif's pride a bit to have been bested by a "Midgardian".

Natasha ducks as Fandral takes a sweep towards her head with his leg and skids underneath him and as Fandral makes a move to spin around towards her, Natasha leaps upwards and grabs his shoulders attempting to throw him to the ground. Fandral grasps at her shoulders and throws her off of him. Natasha slides a few feet but comes to a halt tossing her short hair from her face as Fandral does the same.

Natasha is a little exhausted, admittedly but refuses to yield. Thor and the other Avengers (save Bruce who, for the life of them they cannot pull away from books) Clint is cheering for her in the background but Natasha has long since tuned him out. She's only sizing down her opponent trying to figure out how to best Fandral. He, apparently is doing the same because neither one of them have made a move towards each other. It's a strictly no-weapons battle via Thor's instructions because Natasha's pretty sure he's worried about permanently maiming them on accident.

Natasha decides to pull a Tony and simply wing it and dives towards Fandral. He grasps her around the shoulders before pulling her into a headlock. The goal is to the get the other flat on the ground for at least two seconds. So far, neither one of them have let up yet. It's admittedly one of the shorter battles, Sif and her's was about five minutes before Natasha beat her. Natasha struggles against Fandral's grip for a moment before stomping on his foot. An oldie, but a good one. Toes really are terribly sensitive, that's probably why door edges and table ends always feel the need to smash into them. Natasha has an issue with this. She's _always_ stubbing her feet and it's ridiculous because she feels that as a former ballerina she should be more aware graceful. Nope.

Fandral lets out a hiss and Natasha pulls forward only to here a soft _clink_ as the chain from the necklace she was wearing snaps. Natasha stills suddenly an unexplainable horror feeling her at the idea of it breaking and she whirls spotting her broken necklace chain in Fandral's gloved fingers the arrowhead dipping downwards towards the ground. Natasha rips the chain from his hand before curling her fist and punching Fandral across the face. He jerks to the side in surprise at her force or the sudden blow but has no time to recover as a young man all but throws himself into the training room.

"Avengers," He pants his breath slightly shortened probably from running here. Natasha clenches the chain to her necklace tighter so it's hidden in her fists and turns to look at him as her teammates rise from the bench they were sitting on to do the same. "Bruce Banner has been injured and is in the healing halls.

"What?" Clint asks sounding slightly surprised. Natasha's feelings mimic it.

"When? How?" Tony demands and their already moving forward as one unit towards the door.

"Forgive me my friends," Thor says, speaking to Sif and the Warriors Three.

"All is forgiven, Thor, go." Sif says with a soft shake of her head.

The boy waits for them to join him in the hall before answering Tony and Clint's questions. "He hasn't explained what happened yet, said that he only wanted to talk with you." The boy says and Natasha purses her lips together, "Eir sent me to get you, come quickly." The boy speeds up at that and Natasha shoves down the weary exhaustion pounding through her from battling Thor's friends and they pass through halls of the palace dodging around servants and other nobles making it to the what Natasha assumes is their doctor's office-place-thing. She stuffs the broken chain into her pocket to think about later and the boy steps into the room.

It's large, white and has a distinct smell, not like an actual doctors office but more so like really sweet vanilla that's been bathing in ginger for awhile. The room is long and wide on on the left side is a random array of equipment hanging around and woman and men sending out golden streams towards something. Magic. Actual magic. Natasha wants to stop and stare gaping for a while but Bruce is more important.

The cots are split apart by sheet-like fabric and Natasha can see a few sick or injured men and women sleeping or talking to healers but picks up Bruce's voice from the mix of them. "No, no, I'm serious, I just waved my hand through this thing and it froze." Natasha doesn't hear whoever he's talking to but a moment later he answers: "Yes, I won't do it again."

Tony, at the front reaches Bruce first. He's at the end of the long line and Natasha feels her eyebrows shoot up in surprise. Frigga _and_ Odin are standing next to the cot where Bruce is sitting about three feet from the ground his arm wrapped in a thick bandage. Another woman is standing there and talking to him with a reprimanding tone. "You better not, _mortals."_ She huffs and turns and sees them. "Ah, you must be who he was asking for, I'll leave you to some privacy. Don't take that off for another day, you're fingers will be stiff for a few more after that. Terrible frostbite, _what_ did you put your hand in?"

"Thank you, Eir." Frigga says in clear dismissal and Eir huffs, rolls her eyes before moving past their group.

"Brucie!" Tony says cheerily and plops down on the cot beside Bruce, on his left. "What did you do?"

Bruce's expression grows serious and he looks at all of them. "Do you have somewhere private we can speak, your majesty?" Bruce asks looking at Odin. The white-haired man turns to his wife who nods in some sort of silent communication. She lifts her hands raising her pointer fingers and drawing a box, golden light shines from her fingertips and Frigga spins it building up a box and gently pushes it into the middle of the room.

Natasha's eyes widen with amazement.

Tony looks very much so like he wants to touch it. Natasha move forward and rests a hand on his shoulder to snap the idea from his head before he can. "What is that?" Steve breathes and Frigga gives a soft smile.

"It's a silencing spell. Anyone attempting to eavesdrop on our conversation will only hear us discussing the properties of healing art on Asgard. What is it you wanted to say, Doctor Banner?" Frigga asks and looks at him. Natasha swings her gaze to their doctor who plays with the bandage on his arm for a moment.

"I ran into Loki, today." He says and Frigga's eyes widen Odin going stiff. "It's how I got the frostbite," he explains and lifts his arm. His fingertips are a light shade of blue but still look painful. "I reading a book on Chemistry and he asked me about it. He said something about not being able to escape and mentioned a staff and a spell, I don't know if this helps any but I think that he's _trying_ to tell us how to free him from this." Bruce says. Natasha feels her eyebrows rise on her face. Clint told her about the Loki's interest in his family yesterday, with the photo and she was _there_ in the aftereffects of Steve's. Clint, _Clint_ says that he believes this to be real and admitted, quietly, that he would hate to be stuck like Loki is now.

Frigga's hands fly over her mouth and she inhales deeply, "Oh, for all I have hoped," She whispers, "I have longed for his freedom since we learned of his imprisonment here. A staff, you said? Does he speak of the one the Chitauri forced on him?"

"I'm not sure. He just said "staff" and "spell" he…" Bruce pauses as if weighing something in his head before adding: "Thanked me for breaking him free of the mind control. He said he was glad to die as himself."

Thor inhales sharply and looks like he took a physical punch to his stomach and Frigga's eyes widen with unshed tears. Odin, blank as ever does nothing but there is a sudden tightness to his eyes. He's been rather gentle for all Thor's insistence on how merciless he can be. There must be a double edged sword going on here. It is weird that Odin brought them here now of all times-wait. _Die as himself?_

Natasha jerks her thoughts backwards to the Battle of New York and when they went to go get Loki later. He was sitting on the ground looking hazy and unsure of himself. Even after Natasha knocked Clint unconscious it still took him several hours to shake off the control. Well...cats.

Thor said that Loki's sentence was _that day._ Loki had a few hours of life free from the control before they killed him.

Odin presses his lips together, "I do wonder," he says softly, "if he is purposely ignorant of us or something else is going on here."

"Loki wouldn't-" Frigga starts to defend but stops and breathes deeply, "I know not my husband, please," she opens her eyes to look at them,"gather what information you can from my son. I will break him free of this but I cannot do it without you."

Steve stares at them for a moment before turning to the royalty, "We will. I promise."

000o000

"Miss Romanoff," Natasha lifts her head to the mirror the desk she was staring at attempting to fix the chain to Steve's necklace that Fandral broke a few hours earlier completely forgotten. She _knows_ the voice and despite her best efforts to ignore it, the stories that Clint, Steve and Bruce told her are popping into her head again. And Steve's promise. Loki. The ghost. Natasha turns to look back and sees him standing there. His hands are hanging loosely at this sides, the dark hair messy around his face unusual from the slicked back look he wore when he was on Earth.

"Loki." Natasha says, calmly. She picks up the chain again and grasps at the small loop of wire she found earlier and has been attempting to fix the chain for a while now. Her body is exhausted so she has little desire to leave the chair she's sitting on but wants more than anything for this to just _fix._

Loki is a few feet behind her and squints at the desk for a moment. Natasha is suddenly severely self conscious of the necklace and the desire to toss a blanket or something over it is strong. "That is from, Barton, yes?"

"It's broken." Natasha says in answer. It's not from Clint, actually, it's from _Steve._ He gave it to her as they started to work together in S.H.I.E.L.D. as a silent promise he wouldn't ever replace Clint. Clint gave her a red and black anklet he learned to weave from Laura a month after he took her to his farm. Some two weeks beforehand he had spared her life. Natasha still wears it. It's frayed, obviously, and well worn out but Natasha owns very little and isn't a sentimental person when it comes to objects. They are expendable. There are few she thinks aren't. Like the pair of sunglasses Tony gave her after they joined the Avengers and she had a panic attack at a restaurant. He put in on her and had assured that "confidence, dear Natiashle, it's all about confidence," Natasha had kept them without permission and Tony never asked for them back. But he always has this stupidly dumb proud smirk on his face whenever she wears them that Natasha wants to smack off but doesn't. She has a handful of things she true and honestly has sentimental value towards and the necklace's state is admittedly far more distressing her more than she wants to say.

"I see," Loki's voice is blank, little emotion playing across it and what Natasha can pick out makes little sense. Regret, sorrow, sadness, helpless hopelessness and a slight frantic note. "I'm sorry. Have you asked Steven on it?"

Natasha eyes him slightly, "No. Why?"

Loki shrugs slightly, "Your hawk said when under my influence that Steve and his friend...Bucky was it? Would fix jewelry together."

This Natasha did not know. She knows Steve is an artist and now that she's thinking on it, it makes sense it's very... _Steve-_ like. "Oh," Natasha says in answer. She rests the broken necklace down on the desk and turns to look at him resting a her hand on her elbow.

Loki leans against the desk and though Natasha's pretty sure he _should_ just fall through it, he doesn't. "I am impressed you managed to beat nearly all the Warrior's Three and Sif." Loki says and Natasha stiffens slightly. "They likely would have bested you with their weapons but it was nice to see them humbled."

"How do you know about that?"

"I watched it."

"Thor said you only stay in the eastern part of the palace."

"He did?" Loki asks and hums slightly, "No, it is the only place I am able to be seen by others. I am unaware _why_ only that it is. I have been following your group for a few days now." Loki admits and Natasha mentally kicks something because she didn't even _notice_ or sense it. She's supposed to detect that.

"Your parents miss you; so does Thor. Why don't you talk to them?"

Loki snorts slightly at that and presses his lips together, "I might be more inclined to believe you, Miss Romanoff if they ever showed themselves here."

Natasha pauses for a moment because _that_ doesn't add up to what Odin was saying. "Really? Not once?"

Loki shakes his head, "As far as I am aware. Miss Romanoff," His voice is growing fainter. "I apologize."He murmurs before he's dragged upwards in a yellow-green light. Natasha stares at the spot he vanished from for a second before pressing her lips together and turning around fully in her chair. She can think about that later, right now she needs to focus on her intruder.

"You didn't bring us here for political bonds, Your Majesty." She says. Odin steps away from the doorway he was hiding it his eyes lingering with slight respect.

"No?" Odin asks.

Natasha gives a soft shake of her head, "You brought us here for _Thor."_

000o000

"Captain," Steve is already awake, this time trying to see how the "ghost-thing" forms but he didn't see anything. It's been a few days since the first visit and now Natasha has explained her own and Clint as well as Bruce. He's been expecting this. Loki is just suddenly _there._ Steve sits up and purses his lips together.

"Thor told me what happened."

"Did he?" Loki's voice is distant, almost echoing.

"Yeah, about the sentencing, and the mind control. Is it true?"

Loki turns from the window, he is once again staring out of to look at him and his face twists in distaste. "I am Loki Liesmith, anything I say would not believe, anyway. Why should I confirm this?"

Steve frowns, "Because you have nothing left to lose."

Loki smiles thinly, "It is."

"But-why didn't you _say_ anything!?" Steve protests, "We wouldn't have let you get shipped off with Thor to your execution!"

"Rogers," Loki's voice is cold, "it takes several hours to shake off the control completely, by the time I was fully myself and able to explain, Thor and I were standing in your Central Park. I was given no opportunity to speak my defense." Loki's words are a hiss and bite sharp. Steve feels a pool of guilt swim through him. They didn't _know_ they let an innocent man die, if they'd just waited a few hours or- _something._

"I apologize," Loki says and sags slightly, his form seems suddenly far more translucent, "I just wish that I could have an opportunity to speak to my mother and brother, apologize for this mess."

Steve pauses, confused, "But, Thor said that he's visited you dozens of times and you've never recognized him before. Sif and the Warriors Three too."

Loki's eyes widen. His mouth opens and closes a few times before his silvertongue seems to fail him and he gives as soft, " _Oh."_

Steve's eyes widen, "You don't remember, do you?"

Loki purses his lips together, "I must admit, I do not. I…" Loki lets out sharp release of pained air and grasps at his head stumbling to his knees. Steve leaps to his feet and rushes towards him.

"What's wrong? Why do you keep fading out like this?"

Loki presses his fingers harder against his temples and he looks up at Steve helplessly, "I'm sorry, Rogers, I-" Loki's eyes press close and his mouth opens in a voiceless scream before the light surges upwards towards the ceiling dragged towards whatever it was last time. Steve's eyes widen and he stares at the spot for a long moment processing the information he gained.

 _Loki doesn't know._

He can't _remember._

000o000

Tony looks up from his phone, once, before he sees the glowing thing he immediately recognizes as Loki before sighing and pressing the power button. Not that it matters, much, because his arc reactor is lighting up the room brightly. Loki is staring at it, squinting, his head tilted.

"If you're about to beg for redemption, I think Steve's up so go that-a-way." Tony says and points in the general direction of Steve's room.

"You have a star in your chest." Loki says. He sounds confused, yet slightly intrigued at the same time.

Tony purses his lips together. "No, it's not a star."

"It lets off a magical signature." Loki says and takes several steps forward. Is it really stepping, though, if Tony can't exactly see his feet? Also, _magical signature?_ Thor said that Jane would always declare that "magic is just science we don't understand yet". Why is his arc reactor doing that? "I wondered why the staff didn't work on you-not that I _want_ it to, just curious," Loki is a few feet from him now and he attempts his best to stuff down the growing discomfort and idly plays with the phone in-between his fingers.

Loki raises his hands over Tony's chest for a moment before jerking backwards with a gasp and clutching his hands over where his heart would be. His hands raise in front of his eyes wide with amazement and Tony sits up slightly to stare at him. "What?"

"That…" Loki seems unable to find his voice for a moment. "I felt...your star, Stark, it... _stopped_ my master's control. I felt it loosen, for a moment. The energy that produces if I could steal even a slight amount I believe would break me free."

At _that,_ Tony feels his own eyes widen. "Wait, wait, wait, so you mean to say that my _arc reactor_ can free you from this?"

"Yes." Loki sounds just as breathless and amazed as Tony feels.

"Wow. Okay." Tony looks down at it for a moment before meeting Loki's gaze again, "Would you have to drain all the power?"

"I do not know, maybe. I know it keeps you alive, Stark and I would not ask you to give your life for mine." Loki says and Tony realizes at that moment just how hopeful Loki sounds. The dead tone that he was using before didn't seem so bland before but it does now. Loki isn't even _demanding_ that he let him use the arc to save himself. He doesn't _want_ Tony to.

Tony releases a breath slowly.

 _Pepper will strangle you._

 _Yep._

 _Rhodey will probably drag you back for a third time to do the same._

 _Yup._

 _Then Fury._

 _Also yes._

 _You are an idiot._

 _Yes, I am._

The opposing voice in his head, unsurprisingly sounds like Jarvis. "Yeah, alright, let me gather up my buddies and your family and you can do this."

Loki looks ready to question on why but Tony answers before he can, "If this does work, I think they'll want to be here when you actually die."

"Oh." Loki says. He presses two fingers against his temples and breathes slowly, "I wish I could remember them after my death." He whispers, softly. "Are you sure that you want to do this?" Loki asks and Tony shrugs.

"Not really." Tony admits, "But I don't think your brother would ever look at me again if I don't assist you."

Instead of the denial the hate and the rage Tony was expecting by the familial ties, Loki's lip quivers to a smile slightly and he nods. "I am in occurrence with that." Huh.

000o000

Loki doesn't remember the exact day he realized that he wasn't in fact wandering Helheim and still in Asgard. He remembers pain, the pain of the blade sinking into his heart at his execution and then nothing but grey tones for the longest time. He doesn't recall any memories sticking with him beyond the grey murkiness (like the void, _always_ like that empty, hollow, silent place) and pain.

' _You think you know pain? You will long for something as sweet as pain.'_

Thanos's spell stopped him from dying completely leaving him in an awkward near astral projection state. He wandered for a long time searching for people and trying to talk to his his mother, then Thor but no one would hear his screams of frustration. It took him a long time to set up the boundaries between where he could be seen and talked to and where he couldn't. But only for short periods of times because he kept getting dragged back towards where his body lay, rotting with the other diseased of Asgard under the treasury room. He would collapse at the pain from Thanos's control and content himself there for a while.

But Loki...Loki admittedly fears the dark. It reminds him of the void and insufferable _nothingness_ there. Loki was there when Odin declared him mentally insane and under the control of another. Loki wondered for a long time on _why_ he did.

He doesn't remember seeing Thor or Frigga but sometimes he did see Odin. They wouldn't talk just stare at each other before Odin would sigh and leave him. Loki was pretty sure that in those moments, Odin was never really _there._ Just a burst of his magic that he struggled to contain for the longest time without his physical body to hold the strain of his power.

Then the Avengers came.

And Steve _saw_ him and _spoke_ to him. Loki only tried to grasp his attention in a last plead of helplessness and was more than startled when the super-soldier actually _responded._ But his body had called for his dead spirit and Thanos for more pain and Loki had to retreat. He came back, he followed them all over the palace and spoke to Clint wondering if they could see him too.

They did.

They all _did._

Loki tried to explain the concepts of what happened to the doctor but Thanos's grip on him had been growing tighter recently and Loki had been growing desperate. He refuses to be under the man's grip again.

Stark's star is...it is _hope._ Loki can't explain the relief and at knowing he will _finally_ be free. Tony is truly not the arrogant selfish character most take him for.

So now, Loki's hands are clasped behind his back tightly, firmly as he stares at his mother, his brother and Odin. He's had plenty of time to think about things and rise in his anger and frustration at them. Scream at them to _see_ him to just _respond._ Truly in this moment of anger and helplessness _Odin_ was the only person that saw him. Even if there was no speaking he can only remember _Odin_ looking him in the eyes with a mournful sad stare. Regret.

Odin regrets Loki's death.

This...Loki feels is far more comforting than it should be. The other Avengers look like undead beings but his...family is wide awake. Thor refuses to break eye contact with him and Frigga looks ready to leap on him and wrap him in a hug. He has no physical form, only gives them chill. He was nearly the cost of Banner's arm.

"Brother," Thor's first word to him (That Loki remembers) since the execution is soft and hopeful. Loki raises his head to meet his gaze. His forest green lock onto Thor's electric blue and Thor's eyes widen with hope and unshed tears.

Tony is standing somewhere to their left fiddling with the sleeping tunic he's wearing over the arc reactor. What is he to say. He's finally going to actually _die_ and his last words were an apology. For failing their family, for dishonoring them, for not being strong enough to resist Thanos's mind control. What is he to say now? What can he say that can mend the thorny bushes that have grown in place of the bridges he has long since burned?

"My darling son." Frigga breathes and closes her eyes inhaling softly. "I am sorry. No manner of words can express the regret I feel for failing you. We all feel this."

Loki remains quiet for a moment. "You did not fail." He whispers. Frigga inhales sharply at the sound of his voice. "You were and always have been my mother." He assures, softly, quietly. A tear slips down her cheek and she nods pressing her hands against her mouth.

"Brother, I am sorry." Loki says finally and turns to Thor. He fears if he doesn't say anything _now_ he never will and will regret it. Thor stares at him with his wide blue eyes, suddenly tongue-tied. He gives a soft smile, "I know who my kin is." He says simply and turns to Tony.

Tony meets his gaze and pulls his hand back. "Just so we're clear, I did _not_ sign up for the sappy part of this."

No, of course not. Tony Stark was not made to handle emotion. The thought is dry. Loki rolls his eyes before raising his hands, "Are you ready?" He asks Tony softly. The billionaire nods and Loki lifts his hands and feels Thanos tearing at the back of his mind but for the first time in a long while can ignore it. He waves his hands and feels the blue light extract from Tony's reactor and feels himself draining. Loki pulls power from the reactor further and Tony's expression goes tight but he remains silent and quiet.

After nearly a minute, Loki feels himself begin to drain, feeling cold and locks his gaze onto Thor. He raises his hand over his heart, sign of respect for the king and doesn't see Thor's face because by the time he looks up, he is gone.

000o000

Tony grasps his reactor panting heavily but the light that Loki was shedding off is gone. His vision is blurring from pain and lack of oxygen so he squeezes his eyes shut instead. "Did it work?" he asks after a moment when it appears no one else is going to explain.

There's a beat of silence before Frigga gives a soft, "Yes."

Tony nods several times and gives a thumbs up, "Hooray." He says cheerily before promptly collapsing.

Time passes by in a blur after that. Tony spends a part of it in the healer's room in Asgard trying to regain strength back from his low powered reactor but it doesn't help. When this becomes clear, Thor, Steve _and_ Bruce go into overprotective mother-hen mode and demand his return to Earth so that way they can replace the reactor.

Odin agrees.

Frigga bids them farewell and exactly one week two days since their departure from Earth they land on the tower where Bruce and Steve drag him towards the labs. Thor comes with them and Tony repairs the arc reactor, goes up to the longue long enough to yet properly yelled at by Fury before retreating back to his lair. Time goes on and Loki's abrupt appearance and disappearance get easier to deal with every day, as Tony knows they would.

The first few weeks, Thor is glum before he brightens abruptly and happily one morning and suddenly a boundless ball of energy. When Tony asks him later Thor looks at him with a twinkle in his eye and simply states: "Loki is at peace now, and I know he would kick me into next Tuesday if he know I was moping. I will live my life so he may be proud of it, from Valhalla."

Tony doesn't ask again and Thor looks considerably happier afterwards and eats far more sandwiches rather than pop tarts, which is weird but hey, Thor's gotta cope somehow and Tony isn't stopping him, after all, Thor loves sandwiches.


End file.
